"Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity." 2 Corinthians 8:2
I lead a small worship and prayer meeting on Monday evenings. When I say it like that, it sounds dry and church-y. But it's one of the highlights of my week--being in the presence of God together with my friends fills my heart with sweet light. I anticipate this meeting as a time to be refreshed and renewed; we usually go home glowing. But sometimes, I want the sweetness to last a little longer, i.e. social time after the meeting.Recently I invited my friend, Kara, and her son, Tommy, to go out for dessert afterward. My only agenda was just to continue the fellowship of the Spirit we had during our prayer time; it just felt so good to be together. Kara is a gift of honest, free fellowship. With a grin, she often bursts out, "Koinonia!" during our delightful, intriguing and sometimes challenging conversations.
Kara and Tommy cheerfully said yes to dessert at 10:30 pm on a Monday evening, when almost nothing in Salem, Oregon is open! I called my husband to say I'd be home late, and he said I should come home and get some cash because we didn't have money in the bank for me to use the debit card. My friends overheard me and said not to worry, they would pay for it.
After driving to a few different places that were already closed, we found a restaurant that was open. As we looked over the menu, they calculated. All the money they had in their possession was $12 in the bank, and Tommy had $2 in his wallet! I suddenly felt terrible that I hadn't gone home to get money. My husband still had a wad of cash in the cupboard leftover from our tax refund. I usually get very uncomfortable when I don't know if I will have enough money to pay my share in a social situation. I usually pretend to be fine but make worried calculations in my head. I would never volunteer to pay for someone else if I only had $14 in the whole world!
But Kara and Tommy were completely relaxed and cheerful, not even embarrassed! They used a phone calculator to figure out what they could afford. The decided what they were getting, then they encouraged me to choose a dessert, since I had asked to go out to dessert. I knew I had some cash in my wallet, but I underestimated how much. I dug out two or three dollars, mostly quarters I had been saving for laundry. I protested that they didn't need to spend their last five dollars buying me dessert! "No, we're definitely spending all of it!" Kara said. I argued that I didn't really care about dessert, I just wanted an excuse to be together. I really didn't mind drinking water and sharing the tater tots. But Kara insisted--insisted!--that I choose a dessert.
It's hard to explain, because I have never seen it before--but this was not your standard polite arm-wrestle for the bill, where some of the motives are tangled up with social expectations and the desire to appear generously in-control. There was also no hint of martyrdom in my friend's cheerful that-settles-it argument: "God takes care of us each day, and He said not to worry about tomorrow." I had some social guilt too, because I initiated our outing and then came up empty-handed! You're not supposed to invite people to go out unless you are prepared to at least pay for yourself. But, trusting my intentions completely, Kara cheerfully brushed past my social mistake. I had no choice but to order the decadent brownie topped with nuts and ice cream. And enjoy it as freely as I had received!
Not only were they happily un-embarrassed to do the math in front of me, but when it came time to pay the bill, they were equally unashamed to ask the waiter to put $12 of the bill on the debit card and we would pay the rest in $1 bills and quarters!
Now I can happily say I know what it looks like to "give cheerfully"!
